was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
