I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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