I'm lost and stupid without you.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
