he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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