I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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