We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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