Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Come share oat with me in your robe
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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