Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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