His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
