i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
