What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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