Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
