Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
