having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
