Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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