Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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