i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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