areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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