i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
