You can't special order awesome
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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