The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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