JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
