Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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