yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
