god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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