It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
