i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
