i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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