i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
