Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
