i'm lost and i look like a hooker
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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