she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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