You work out of a Hotel?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
