Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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