Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
