Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
