do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
