Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
