I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
