you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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