Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
