No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Princesses don't give blow jobs
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
