DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
