Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize