Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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