she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
