We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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