Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
