Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
