Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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