If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
