Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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