and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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