Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
