don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
