so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He shit in the fireplace
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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