dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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