I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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