Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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