My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
