Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
