Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
