is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
