Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
