Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
