whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
