Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize