He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
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Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
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you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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