hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
